This isn't what I want!
by vickie-louise
Summary: Rose gets kidnapped & turned into a Strgoi but its not what she wants. Shes tries to change her ways & get back to her friends hoping they can help to restore her. Rose is holding off trying to become a monster but her animalist ways are breaking through.
1. Prologue!

_This isn't what I want!_

_I don't own Vampire Academy, it's all Richelle Mead. _

_Prologue _

What would you do if you became what you hated the most? Would you play it out, or would you want someone to kill you?

I was turned into a Strigoi against my will.

I've lost the chance to protect my best friend Vasilisa Dragomir, from Strigoi who are hunting down the Moroi, and Vasilisa is the last of her blood line after her parents were killed in a car accident a few years back. Lissa, Andre, and her parents and myself where in an accident, and she brought me back to life, and I was bound to her after. I'm shadow-kissed, which means I was kissed by the shadows, and that I will always be connected to death in one way or another.

I abandoned Lissa when the St. Vladimir's school was attacked by a group of Strigoi and we had gone to save the Moroi and few guardian novices that were take, after the Moroi and novices escaped we were on the retreat, and then some Strigoi had attacked us, catching us by surprise and then the love of life was turned into a Strigoi. Later on that week I left to hunt him.

I went to Russia and found him, but I was too shocked by how natural Dimitri looked to stake him, and I got knocked out, and taken hostage. After a week or so I tried to stake Dimitri and escape the estate where I was being held, and run for it. It worked slightly, I paralysed him with a wooden chair leg, and escaped, but he caught up with me later in the night, on a bridge, where we fought and I fought I had staked him, and killed him. Somehow the stake slipped out and Dimitri survived, and sent the stake back to me, and note saying 'never turn your back on your enemy until you know he is dead.' And then I was sure he was coming to get me.

Dimitri Belikov, was a badass guardian who could take out a Strigoi without a sweat, this is what we all train to be, a badass guardian, who can protect their charge. And now he awakened me into a Strigoi, after I was kidnapped at the Academy on a day out.

My name is Rose Hathaway and I'm now a Strigoi, fast, strong, immortal and very temper mental.

But I don't won't to be this way!

Let me know what you think, _REVIEW!!_

_Ta's. __J_


	2. Chapter 1

_**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**_

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Rpov_**

"Rose," Lissa whined when I wasn't paying attention.

I looked at her, and grinned. "What's up Lissa?" I was caught up in my own waking nightmare.

"Rose. Kirova is letting us go to Missoula to do some shopping, and get some clothes for graduation party." Lissa said to me with a small smile playing at the edge of her lips.

I didn't really want to go shopping; I didn't really want to go anywhere but in my room, and think. What would have happened if Dimitri said he loved me? Would I have tried to jump off the bridge? Would I have let him change me in a Strigoi? So many questions, I needed to think over, but I couldn't dwell on the past. When I know he was coming to get me, soon. "That's great, when do we leave? Who is coming with us?" I said hoping to keep her happy.

Lissa looked at me, and sighed. She saw straight through me, "Rose, I know. I know you're hurting, but you have to talk to someone about this." I started shaking my head even before she finished her sentence.

"I'll be fine, Lissa I swear" I put on my best saucy smile, and winked. "Anyway when are we going?"

Lissa looked at me like she wanted to press on with the conversation. But then shock her head and answered. "Where are leaving in an hour. And Christian and Adrian are coming with us." I smiled, and we walked to the feeders, so Lissa could get her daily amount of blood.

We walked into the feeder rooms, and Lissa gave her name and we waited until she was called. I could feel Lissa wanted me to talk to her about the situation with Dimitri, and what we were going to do. She was scared for me, and knowing that I wasn't going to show any emotions, or talk about it. I looked at Lissa, and she looked at me, and smiled. But she knew, I knew what she was thinking.

"Lissa, I'll talk when I know what I'm doing, and what I'm, feeling," I said to her quietly.

"Okay, Rose but you will talk to me about it, and you will get through this." She smiled and hugged me tightly.

"Thank you, Lissa." I smiled and hugged her back.

"Err, Rose. What is going on between you and Adrian?" she whispered in my ear, and through the bond I could tell she was anxious to hear the answer.

I giggled, and sighed. "I don't know yet. But you'll find out." I whispered back in her ear.

Just then Lissa's name was called and she walked over, and once again it was Alice. Alice was crazy, and everybody knew it.

"Rose" Alice exclaimed, with more excitement, then ever. "I've missed our conversations." She smiled.

"Alice" I nodded in a greeting, and smiled back.

"You left us, Rose. I'm glad you're back, we are all safe again, now!" She kept smiling.

"Yes I'm back, again." I said I looked at Lissa.

Alice nodded and tipped her head to show, bit marks on her neck, where she had been fed on today already. Lissa moved her head closer and she bit into Alice's neck. A small moan escaped Alice's lips, and then she was quiet.

I looked away suddenly remembering when I had become a Strigoi blood-whore for Dimitri, and I remembered the pure bliss after the bite, and I wouldn't care about a thing in the world. Accept the high I was in. I shocked my head, as I tried to shake the memories.

Lissa was finished and she looked at me, with concerned. And through the bond she asked _'Rose what's up with you?'_

I shook my head, and we walked away.

We met up with Christian Ozera, Lissa boyfriend who is a royal Moroi. We walked up to the commons, and headed toward the lunch line. I looked at the food left there wasn't much, so I picked up something that looked like chicken nuggets, and picked up some salad, and French fries, Lissa didn't really need as much as I did, so she picked up a yogurt. Christian had picked up something that looked like a wrap, with some sort of meat in it. We headed towards an empty table, and then I heard my name being called.

"Little dhampir, wait up." It was Adrian. I turned towards him, and gave him a wary look. He smiled as he jogged up to me, which he got a scornfully look off one the dinner matrons.

"Hey Adrian, what's up?"

"Nothing I was gonna eat with you, and I want to talk to you." He added a wink at the end.

"Er sure Adrian." Now I was wary, what did Adrian want to talk about? I sat down with Lissa, while Adrian went and got some food.

Through the bond I felt Lissa, trying to get my attention. I looked at her, and she spoke "_what does Adrian want?"_

I shrugged, while looking at her. We had these sorts of conversations all the time, she would talk to me through the bond, and I would respond with a gesture, or I would speak.

Adrian returned with something to eat, and perched next to me on the seat, while looking at me.

What did he want? This was so annoying.

"Little dhampir?" Adrian whispered into my ear. I resisted the urge to shiver.

"Yes Adrian," I looked down while I spoke.

"Do you mind taking a walk with me, please?" he sounded embarrassed. So I looked up, and he was slightly blushing.

"Err," I looked at Lissa who was looking at me. "Sure. When?" I said turning back to him.

"Now?" he said looking at Lissa and then back to me.

"Sure," I nodded and then stood up, while putting the last of my chicken nugget in my mouth, and putting the plastic plate in the bin. Adrian stood up, and placed his in the bin. We walked out of the commons and outside where it was dark, but the lights, lighting up our path. He stopped and grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a hug. A few students, who passed looked at us, whispered something to each other, and then looked forward.

I was a bit shocked but hugged him back, and then whispered to Adrian. "Hey what's up?"

He unlocked him arms around my waist but slid his fingers into my hand, and entwined our hands and looked me in the eye, and spoke. "I want to know, have you made up your mind, yet? About giving us ago."

I was totally taken off guard. "Adrian...," I whispered, and looked down.

He groaned, and let go of my hand and walked away towards and bolder, and sat down. I didn't know what to do. I looked at Adrian, and walked over to him; I stood in front of him, and waited for him to look up. He looked up, and he stood, and looked me in the eye.

"Rose. . ." was all he said, before I crushed his lips with my own. He didn't break off. He kissed me back, and I kissed him back. Our lips were moving in synchronized movements, until someone shouted at us. I recognized the voice. It was Christian.

"You two, come on and stop making out. And get over here we're leaving now." I looked at him and glared, and then turned my head back to Adrian who hadn't stopped looking at me.

"Adrian, I guess who you know, where I think i'm headed. I think we can give each other ago. Just give me a few days to think about it, okay?" I smiled.

"Rose, thank you" was all Adrian said before he entwined out hands and walked over towards Christian, and Lissa. Lissa looked at me, and smiled. Where Christian had a smug look on his face, I looked at him and he grinned showing fangs and all. I shook my face, and smiled back.

We all piled into the SUV, Adrian and me in the back, Lissa, Christian and Alberta in the middle, and then Stan and a new guardian who I don't know. I took out my ipod and put the ear buds in and pressed play, and listening to music, and then I drifted into a not so peaceful sleep.

_I was back in Russia, on the bridge. I was looking at Dimitri who was trying to reason with me; to make me listen. To become what I hate most. But I wasn't listening; I just kept shaking my head. Which seemed to anger him, I looked at him, and I smiled. Dimitri stopped talking, and frowned. _

"_Dimitri I love you, why do you want me?" I asked, and hoped for the right answer._

"_Because I want you." He replied, I shook my head and moved closer to him, he was watching me. _

"_No Dimitri you've never wanted me, you always loved me. That what you're meant to say," I whispered. "If you loved me you would've never bitten me, Strigoi or not. I loved you more than anything. But it's time for me to leave." I said, and started to walk away from him across to the middle of the bridge._

"_Roza, I love you more than anything, that's why I want us to be together forever." He took a step forward, and I moved closer to the rail. "Roza, I'm not going to let you go." He took another step forward and I climber over, so I was straddling the rail. "Roza what are you doing? Get off there!" he yelled._

"_Dimitri I won't become what you are," I smiled sadly at him. "I love you enough to die." And then I let go, an involuntary scream came to my throat, and I hit the water._

Let me know what you think, _REVIEW!!_

_Ta's. _

_i would like a few review to let me know if i should carry on. and to let me know if you like it so far. _


	3. Chapter 2

_**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**_

Chapter 2

_Apov_

We all piled in to the SUV, and I sat next to Rose. She pulled out her ipod, and started to listen to it. I smiled hoping things would get better for her. I lent my head back against the seat, hoping to sleep, not a fat chance when Christian saw what happened earlier.

"So Adrian?" he piped up.

"Yer what fire-boy," I replied smirking.

"Whats was that with you and Hathaway earlier on?" he replied sarcastically.

"Err; I think you should ask her fire-boy." I said. He grinned and looked at Rose who was asleep but her brow creased. Hmm I wonder she's dreaming about. Christian saw what I was looking at and smirked. "Don't worry stalker, she probs won't be dreaming about you." He smirked and Lissa hit him. "Ow babes," I laughed.

I decided to sleep for a while but it seems like someone had other plans. Just as I was about to nod off, I was jerked away but someone screaming. I opened my eyes, and saw Rose thrashing in her sleep. Lissa looked at me, and I shook my head. I moved over to Rose trying to wake her, but her fist hit me in the face, I flinched back. But I carried on shaking her, but the screaming continued. About five minutes later the screaming became whimpers. We had pulled over by now, because Rose wouldn't wake up. I looked at her aura it was her usual black, but with another colour. I shook Rose again, and this time her eyes flew opened and then she started sobbing. I pulled her close to me, I rubbed her back. Ever since she came back from Russia, she has nightmares, but she won't tell anyone what they are bout. She doesn't talk to anyone, so it makes things harder for her.

Everyone just stared at Rose but no one said anything accept Lissa. I could tell that Lissa was trying to talk to Rose through the bond, because each time they have a conversation, their aura's light up. But the light was only glowing one way, Lissa.

"Rose, what was the dream about?" Guardian Petrov asked. All Rose did was just sobbing into my chest even harder. Guardian Petrov looked at me, and I shrugged.

"Rose, you need to tell us what happened in Russia, if you don't you just so it makes things harder for you to handle. Have you even spoken to anyone about the events in Russia?" Guardian Petrov asked.

"No," that was all Rose said and just stayed silent. I continued to rub her back, and she her breathing slowed and she fell as sleep against my chest.

"Lissa, what were you trying to say to Rose earlier on?" I asked, she looked shocked but answered.

"I was trying to get Rose to tell me what happened in her dream, but she was blocking me out." She sounded hurt at the last bit.

"Don't worry Liss, she'll talk eventually." Christian told her.

We started off again to the mall; before we got there I woke Rose up who was annoyed that I woke her up.

"Come on Rose, up and out." Guardian Petrov said. "You can't stay in there."

"Yes I can." Rose replied, which Christian laughed at.

"I bet she would try and stay in, but she would get too hungry and come out," he said and Eddie laughed along with him and Stan.

"Rose, come on out, now." She replied.

"Fine," Rose muttered, which made me smile.

We walked into the mall, I was happy to be here. I know I needed to get some vodka or something but that could wait. The girls wanted to go off on their own, to get some clothes for the party, and graduation. So Eddie, Christian and I walked over to Games and looked for Guitar Hero. We found it and walked around and then went over to the music store and we picked up some new music. We spent an hour walking around looking for the girls; eventually we saw them in Victoria Secretes. I looked at Rose and smiled, she was picking up some new bars, and underwear. The shop assistant in there had jealously written all over her aura, which made me laugh. I told Eddie and Christian.

"But come one, who can blame her. Rose has a rocking body." Eddie said a bit too loud, because Rose obviously heard because she looked over and blushed.

"Eddie, she did hear you, you know that." Christian said, I smiled and

Eddie blushed.

"But I do have to agree with you on that one. ROSE HATHAWAY HAS A ROCKING BODY!" I shouted out, in the mall, which got people looking at me.

"Mr Ivashkov, please behave." Guardian Stan told me. I looked over at Rose and she was glaring at me, while Lissa was laughing. I swear if looks could kill I would be a pill of dust and six feet under. I laughed and she gave me the finger, which Guardian Petrov told her off for, while Rose just smiled innocently. About five minutes Rose came out and headed straight for me.

"God luck Ivashkov, your on you death bed." Christian laughed. Rose stopped in front of me, and grinned.

"Oh and how would you know I've got a _rocking body_ considering _you've_ never seen it," she asked seductively as her finger trailed down my chest. I swallowed.

"I ... er ..." I had lost my train of thought; her hand was at the top of my jeans.

"Exactly my point Ivashkov," She smiled, and walked off laughing with Lissa.

"Oh My GOD, Rose that was SOO cruel. You should of seen his aura," I heard Lissa shout to Rose, while laughing.

"Damn man, I feel for you." Eddie said, and grinned. I sighed knowing my aura would have changed colour. I couldn't say anything I just looked at where she was walking, and smiled.

"Come on you three, let get go, follow," guardian Stan said walking after them, while Eddie, Christian and I walked behind him, and some other guardian walked behind.

We stopped at food court, and got something to eat. I looked at Rose, and she glanced around and saw me and smiled seductively, and motioned me over with a finger to sit beside her. Before I got up, Christian muttered something to me.

"Man, you are so whipped," he said and Eddie and I'm laughed.

"Yer well least I don't get called ..." I broke off, and he glared, and I walked over to Rose, and sat beside her. "Yes Rosie," I said. She glared at me, but then it softened into her man-eater smile, and she placed her hand on my arm, and trailed it down to where my hand was leaning on my lap. And then hers and Lissa's aura's changed colour they started glowing. And then Rose's eyes glazed over and then she started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked frowning.

"Your," her gasping "aura," more laughing "is the colour," her breathing, "of lust," she started laughing all over again, and this time Lissa, Eddie, Christian and Guardian Petrov joined in. About five minutes later Rose calmed down.

"Did you really just do that for me to feel lust?" I asked her.

"Yep" she laughed, I sighed cruel person.


	4. Chapter 3

_**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**_

**Chapter 3**

_**Rpov **_

We walked to the car park, and all of sudden I was feeling sick. So I leant on the nearest car.

"Rose, are you okay?" Guardian Petrov asked me.

"No, I feel sick, but I think it's a different reason," i replied.

"What do you mean Rose" Guardian Alto piped in.

"Strigoi," was all I said, they gasped.

"Roza" I looked up, and he was standing there a few meters away.

"Dimitri?" I asked quietly.

"Ah, do I see you still remember me," he sneered; I gasped, and took a step forward.

"Rose; what in earth are you doing?" Stan shouted at me.

"I ... Dimitri" I took another step, but then someone pulled me back. "Let me GO," I shouted at them.

"Rose, snap out of this," Alberta shouted.

"Let me go," I shouted again, and tried to get free.

"NO, I'm not letting you go," the guardian, who I don't know shouted.

"Why, do you care?" I shouted at him.

"Rose, stop it," I heard Lissa whisper. I looked up, at him and he was looking at me, my body shivered, and my heart beat picked up. He laughed, and smiled.

"Oh Roza, come here," he said while looking into my eyes. All I wanted to do is go over to him. I needed to go over to him. Something was pulling me over there. I smiled, and thrashed harder, I managed to get out of the guardians embrace. I started to walk over, but then someone again pulled me back. "Guardian Petrov I suggest you let Rose go," he said still looking at me.

"I can't Dimitri, I won't lose her," she replied. He broke eye contact and I felt dizzy, I shook my head. He used compulsion on me.

"Dimitri, you ass whole; you used compulsion on me!" I screeched at him, he laughed and took a step forward, Alberta pulled me back, and Stan stood next to her.

"Stan, I won't hurt anyone, I just want my Roza," Dimitri told him, and looked him in the eyed. "Let me have her," he commanded.

"No Dimitri," Stan replied, "I won't give Rose to you, we've only just got her back." He sounded softer. Dimitri growled, I took an involuntary step back, and he looked over at me.

"Don't be afraid my love," he cooed, I froze. And I heard some gasps I looked around, Christian and Eddie were just looking from Dimitri to me.

"Stan, Alberta, I'll make this easy. Either you give me Rose, or I'll come and get her," Dimitri said coolly, like it didn't matter who he hurt.

"Dimitri, I can't do that, and you know it," Alberta replied. Dimitri growled and took a step forward, all three guardians got into an attack stance.

"Dimitri," he looked at me, and I know I could feel hot tears running down my face.

"Yes Roza?" he asked, his face softened a bit.

"I love you," and I took a step forward towards him.

"As I love you," he replied.

"Rose, stop it, I can't lose you," Lissa shouted at me. I ignored her, and tried to walk around the three guardians. "Rose, STOP!" she shouted again. This time I looked at her, and mouthed, '_I love you; I promise I'll come back." _She shook her head.

"Roza, come with me," Dimitri said, I looked at him and smiled sadly, and walked towards him.

"I can't come with you my love, I need to stay here," I said as I walked through the guardians who were watching mine and his every move. I was about a metre away now, and I stopped, he closed the gap; I heard a few people gasp at how close we were.

I reached up, and stroked his check, down to his lip, he parted his lips, and I felt his cold breath on my fingers. I traced his lips, and he did the last thing I thought he would have done.

He reached down and pulled me up to him, and kissed me. His lips didn't feel warm, they felt cold. He pulled back, only a small bit. "Roza please come with me, I love you."

"_Rose, what the hell are you doing? He's a Strigoi!" _Lissa shouted at me through the bond. I could feel her hurt, disgust, confusion, coming through the bond.

"I know that Liss, but I need to go," I replied back.

"No you don't," _"please don't do this, I love you. I need you to stay with me,"_ Lissa said the last part through the bond.

"Liss I love you, but please don't make me choose. I've lived to protect you, and I've always wanted some freedom," I said honestly.

"Rose, you don't know what you're on about," Alberta said sternly. I sighed as my mental battle continued.

"Dimitri, let me go," I pleaded with him. He looked at me, and smiled sadly.

"I'll get you at some point my Roza," and with that he pulled me closer to him and kissed me. I didn't want to respond but I did, I kissed him back, and I heard someone clear there throat. Dimitri didn't stop, he pulled me closer and tangled his fingers in my hair, and his tongue traced my lip, wanting entrance. I opened my mouth, and his tongue wrapped around my tongue, I moaned. My fingers wrapped round his neck, and pulled his hair, I pulled back, and he smiled.

"I love you Roza," and with that he pulled back and ran. When he was gone I felt empty. I crumpled to the ground not quite sure what to do, I felt my cheeks get hot, and I could feel even more tears running down my face.

"Rose," someone said, I felt someone near me. I didn't move, I couldn't move. "Rose come on, we need to go," I could feel someone tugging at me. I nodded slightly and got up, and started to walk towards the SUV. Once I was in, I got my Ipod out, and shut my eyes, and paid attention to the lyrics.

"Rose," a male voice said my name, I opened my eyes, and i was looking at Eddie. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, by my throat was sore, so it came out as a croak.

"About you and Belikov?" his voice sounded hurt.

"I ..." I couldn't finish off the sentence because a sob came out of my throat. No one comforted me, so I just huddled myself up in ball, and cried. I'm quite sure when, but I fell asleep.

**Let me know!**

**Vickie-Louise**


	5. Chapter 4

_**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**_

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Apov(Adrain)**_

"Roza," we all looked up, and Dimitri was standing there.

"Dimitri?" Rose quietly replied, what's she doing?

"Ah, do I see you still remember me," he sneered at her, she gasped, and her aura changed colour, pain. She took a step forward, and then Guardian Alto shouted at her.

"Rose; what in earth are you doing?" Stan shouted making all of us look at him.

"I... Dimitri?" she took another step, but then guardian Lutz grabbed her. "Let me GO," Rose screamed at him.

"Rose, snap out of this," Alberta shouted at her, she was worried about Rose.

"Let me go," Rose shouted again, and tried to get free once again.

"NO, I'm not letting you go," Guardian Lutz shouted back at her.

"Why, do you care?" She shouted back at him, it was his job and he wasn't about to let go of her.

"Rose, stop it," I heard Lissa whispered, who was beside me.

"Oh Roza, come here," Dimitri said while looking into her eyes all of a sudden Rose started thrashing more and harder. She got out or guardian Lutz grasps, and made her way over to Dimitri, that was until Guardian Petrov grabbed her.

"Guardian Petrov I suggest you let Rose go," Dimitri growled.

"I can't Dimitri, I won't lose her," Guardian Petrov replied still holding onto Rose in a hard grip.

"Dimitri, you ass whole; you used compulsion on me!" Rose suddenly screeched, he laughed and took a step forward, Guardian Petrov pulled Rose back and behind the three of them; and Guardian Alto stood next to Guardian Petrov.

"Stan, I won't hurt anyone, I just want my Roza," Dimitri told him, and looked him in the eyed. "Let me have her," he commanded.

"No Dimitri," Stan replied, "I won't give Rose to you, we've only just got her back." He sounded softer, his aura changed colour, and it was regret. Dimitri growled, and Rose took a step back, and he looked over at her.

"Don't be afraid my love," Dimitri cooed at Rose. Beside me Eddie and Christian gasped and they were looking from Dimitri to Rose.

"Stan, Alberta, I'll make this easy. Either you give me Rose, or I'll come and get her," Dimitri said coolly.

"Dimitri, I can't do that, and you know it," Guardian Petrov replied. Dimitri growled and took a step forward, all of sudden all three guardians got into an attack stance.

"Dimitri," Rose said.

"Yes Roza?" he asked, his face softened a bit.

"I love you," she said and I took a step forward towards him.

"As I love you," he replied.

"Rose, stop it, I can't lose you," Lissa shouted at Rose, trying to get her attention which Rose ignored, and tried to walk around the three guardians. "Rose, STOP!" Lissa louder shouted again. This time Rose looked at her, and mouthed, something to Lissa.

"Roza, come with me," Dimitri said, and Rose turned was towards him.

"I can't come with you my love, I need to stay here," she whispered as she walked through the guardians who were watching their every move. She was about two metres away now, and then she stopped, and Dimitri closed the gap; Christian, Eddie and Lissa gasped at how close they were I more like growled.

Rose reached up, and stroked his check, down to his lips, and then he reached down and pulled her up to him, and kissed her. "Roza please come with me, I love you," he told her.

"I know that Liss, but I need to go," Rose said suddenly.

"No you don't," Lissa argued, Lissa's aura glowed; she was saying something to Rose through the bond.

"Liss I love you, but please don't make me choose. I've lived to protect you, and I've always wanted some freedom," Rose said honestly.

"Rose, you don't know what you're on about," Guardian Petrov said sternly. Rose sighed and then looked at Dimitri her aura was full of sadness and regret.

"Dimitri, let me go," she pleaded with him. He looked at her, and smiled sadly.

"I'll get you at some point my Roza," he murmured, and pulled her up to him to kiss her, at first I thoughts she wasn't going to do anything, but she responded, I cleared my throated loudly, but the lust between them increased, and Rose moaned.

"I love you Roza," he whispered and with that he pulled back and ran.

When he left Rose crumpled to the ground, and started sobbing.

"Rose," Eddie moved towards her but she didn't move. "Rose, come on, we need to go," Eddie said pulling her up she nodded slightly and got up. We all walked toward the SUV.

"Rose," Eddie turned around and looked at Rose. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she croaked

"About you and Belikov?" his voice sounded hurt.

"I ..." she didn't finish off the sentence; she just curled herself up into a ball, and started sobbing. No one did anything, they just looked at her.

"Rose," she ignored Alberta, "Rose, look at me," Rose lifted up her, head and her eyes were red and puffy, and her mascara was smudged down her face. "We'll have to talk when we get back," Rose just nodded and put her head back down on to her legs.

I looked at everyone, Lissa, was hugging Christian, Eddie was just looking out the window, and Guardian Lutz was just looking out the window as well. I sighed and just looked out the window as well; the sky was getting darker and darker, thanks to our delay. Time passd i wasn't really pasying attetion, i sighed and looked at the time we still had another fifteen minutes before we got to the Academy, we didnt think anything could go wrong at least that's what I thought.

We were traveling down the road that led to the gates when we saw about ten figures in front of us, and one standing in front of them. The car screeched to a stop, and even Rose had woken up, she was looking tense but that was what I could tell form her body language.

"Alberta, I need a stake," Rose told her leaning forward.

"Very well Rose," she reached forward and unhooked a stake from the seat, and passed it back to Rose. Rose nodded and sighed.

"Adrian, are you sober?" Alberta asked me, I frowned.

"Yes, why" I asked.

"You are going to drive you three back to the Academy, and stay in there," and with that she pulled out a cell phone. "Kirova, we have a problem. There are eleven Strigoi about ten minutes from the wards, Lord Ivashkov, Lord Ozera and Princess Dragomir, are going to be arriving in about ten or so minutes and Guardian Alto will be with them. Rosemarie Hathaway, Guardian Lutz, will be fighting," she stopped talking and listened and hung up. "Adrian get ready to move, and Rose..." She trailed off but looked at Rose, and Rose nodded.

Alberta moved out and Guardian moved out and Rose climbed over the seat and went to move out as well, but I grabbed her arm, she looked back and smiled sadly.

"Be careful, for me." I said and she nodded and she put her hand against my cheek, and then slapped it, and laughed. I smiled at her, and she got out.

"Ivashkov, up front" Guardian Alto said so I climbed over the seats and he sat in the passenger's side and I sat in the driver seat. "Look I don't care how fast you drive just gets us there," he said seriously I nodded and started the SUV.

I saw Rose look at the car, but she didn't have any emotion on her face I looked at Lissa who was worried, and we can all get about whom. "Cousin she'll be fine, she's a bad-ass Hathaway," I told her, she smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Get going Ivashkov, we have to get help," Guardian Alto said to me, I nodded and drove, and if I knew what would have happened then I wouldn't have gone.

_**Anyway sorry for uplopading the chapter twice!**_

**_so hears the chapter that was meant to go up... Let me know..._**

**_Vickie-Louise_**


	6. Chapter 5

_**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**_

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Dpov**_

I swore to myself I would have her, I would have my love. I knew they were going to the mall today shopping for clothes for graduation. I wanted to go to her and get her then but I couldn't, the fucking sun was up; so I stayed in the shadows until I could reveal myself. I was brought out of my thoughts by my phone.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Dimitri, it's Jade," the girl answered.

"Oh Jade," I was a tad bit surprised that she found my new number.

"You sound disappointed," she replied, I could see her pouting into the phone.

"I'm kinda busy at the moment I'll speak to you when I get to Russia," I told her, and she sighed.

"Right Bye," and then she hung up. I shook up head, I thought Strigoi didn't have feelings or emotion, but we do. And unfortunately, Jade is obsessed with me, which make this hard for me.

I saw the sun going down and worked my way towards the underground car park, and I waited for the group to return. I was standing a couple of cars down from the SUV, and that's when I heard and I walked towards the SUV.

"Rose, are you okay?" Guardian Petrov ask Rose.

"No, I feel sick, but I think it's a different reason," Roza, what is wrong with her.

"What do you mean Rose" Guardian Alto piped in.

"Strigoi," was all she said, and this was my time to but in.

"Roza" I spoke up.

"Dimitri?" Roza asked, as if she didn't recognise me.

"Ah, do I see you still remember me," I sneered and she took a step forward weather she did consciously or not.

"Rose, what in earth are you doing?" Stan shouted at her, I felt a growl starting to spread through my chest.

"I ... Dimitri" she said, and once again took a step forward, and then a guardian who I vaguely recognised grabbed hold of her. I took another step, "Let me GO," Roza yelled at him.

"Rose, snap out of this," Alberta shouted.

"Let me go," Roza shouted again, trying to get free.

"NO, I'm not letting you go," the guardian holding her shouted.

"Why, do you care?" She shouted back.

"Rose, stop it," the Princess whispered. My Roza looked up at me and I was staring at her, looking into her eyes, the same brown before, her body shook a bit and I heard her heart beat pick up. I laughed and smiled.

"Oh Roza, come here," I used compulsion on her. She staring trying to get out, and she slipped out of the guardians grip and started towards me but then Alberta moved forward and made a vice grip on her. "Guardian Petrov I suggest you let Rose go," he said still looking at my Roza.

"I can't Dimitri, I won't lose her," Alberta said, and my eyes flickered over to her, and that was a mistake on my behalf, the compulsion on Roza stopped.

"Dimitri, you ass whole; you used compulsion on me!" Rose suddenly screeched at me, and I just laughed and took a step forward which didn't go unnoticed by Stan or Alberta.

"Stan, I won't hurt anyone, I just want my Roza," I looked over them and stopping on Stan and looked him in the eyed. "Let me have her," I half commanded.

"No Dimitri," Stan replied, "I won't give Rose to you, we've only just got her back." His voice sounded off, I didn't like it a growl erupted from me and I saw my Roza take a step back, was she afraid of me?

"Don't be afraid my love," I cooed to her, and she froze. From behind her I saw her friends gasp, I saw Lord Ozera and Eddie Castile looking from me to Roza. "Stan, Alberta, I'll make this easy. Either you give me Rose, or I'll come and get her," I said coolly, all I wanted was my Love back.

"Dimitri, I can't do that, and you know it," Alberta replied. I growled and took a step forward, all three guardians got into an attack stance.

"Dimitri," My Love whispered, I looked over at her and she had tears running down her face.

"Yes Roza?" I asked, I know Roza my was my weakness, and I would do anything for her.

"I love you," she said and walked forward a bit.

"As I love you," I replied, hoping she knew it was true.

"Rose, stop it, I can't lose you," The Princess suddenly shouted at Roza. Rose ignored her, and tried to walk around the three guardians. "Rose, STOP!" The Princess shouted again, Roza turned her back on me and faced the Princess.

"Roza, come with me," I said, I didn't want to seem like I'm begging but I would do anything to get her. She turned and looked at me and smiled sadly, and walked towards me.

"I can't come with you my love, I need to stay here," she said as she walked through the guardians who were watching our every move. She was about a metre away now, and she stopped I could hear her heart beat, I closed the gap, so I was in front of her, and well a normal reaction to me would to back off, but she didn't move, I heard a few gasp and murmuring about the close we were.

Her left hand reached up, and slowly stroked my check, down to and down to my lips; I parted my lips, remembering the last time we kissed which was at the cabin. She traced my lips, and I couldn't take it anymore, I reached down and brought her up to me, and crashed my lips on hers. Her lips were warm and plump I pulled back and smiled at her.

"Roza please come with me, I love you." I confessed to her.

"I know that Liss, but I need to go," Rose suddenly said, and then I remembered about the bond.

"No you don't,"the Princess said.

"Liss I love you, but please don't make me choose. I've lived to protect you, and I've always wanted some freedom," Rose said, was she coming with me?

"Rose, you don't know what you're on about," Alberta said sternly, Rose sighed and she looked torn.

"Dimitri, let me go," she begged me, I sighed and looked at her, I smiled sadly and then spoke.

"I'll get you at some point my Roza," and then I pulled her to me once again, and kissed her. I didn't think she was going to respond but then I felt her lips respond, the man-whore Adrian cleared his throat, but I pulled her closer and my hands worked their way up her spine and tangled in her hair. My tongue sneaked out and traced her lip, wanting entrance. I didn't think she was going to open but she did and my tongue wrapped around her tongue, which she moaned. Her hands slid up my neck and wrapped round my neck, and I gently pulled her hair, but she pulled back, and I smiled. I didn't want to leave but I had to go and get some help.

"I love you Roza," I whispered to her and pulled out from her embrace and I ran. I heard her slide to the floor, sobbing? I think I didn't want to leave her, I hated being away from her. I WANTED her to be mine for once and for all.

_**Let me now what you think!**_

_**p.s i'll try and up date mistaken soon, i've just been occupied with assignements**_

_**Vickie-Louise**_


	7. Chapter 6

**I do not own Vampire Academy, so usual disclaimers.**

**Chapter 6**

**Rpov**

We exited the SUV, Guardian Lutz and Alberta flanked me, they stood beside me; and we waited for the Strigoi to attack. I knew who was out there, these were Dimitri's goons. I knew they were after me, and I had a feeling that I wouldn't be getting out alive that is. I looked to Alberta and I had a sad feeling that I wouldn't see her again after this, I didn't know Guardian Lutz but I hoped he would survive this fight.

"Rose, you know he's out there and I can't let him get you, the Princess needs you and you need her," Alberta said and I could tell there was message in there 'don't let Dimitri get to you'. I looked to her and nodded saying that I understood the message, and the warning. "Guardian Lutz Rose, stay alive…" Alberta smiled at us, and we made our way forward to the group there were less than last time, at least two of them had left, but I knew that the other's were safe. Christian could set there asses on fire before they could realise so that was good, I just hope Lissa and Adrian know they have to stay out of this and get inside the wards.

Alberta and this other guardian were fighting because of me and I didn't want them to get hurt because of my problems, I looked around it had gotten darker and it was relatively easy to see but I knew we were a good couple of miles away from the Academy; it wasn't a problem for me to run and Guardian Lutz looked healthy but Alberta was in her forties but I knew she could run.

"Roza," I heard Dimitri shout from the cover of the tree's I couldn't see Dimitri but I felt his presence, this fight wouldn't end well.

"Rose, don't do anything stupid; we need you alive. We need you to live to make sure everything will go right, you can change things around here; if you have to run, run and don't look back!" Alberta told me, but she didn't look at me she just looked around her for any Strigoi that were about to attack.

The thing I was about to do probably fell under the 'don't do anything stupid' category.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE US OR FIGHT!" I yelled and I heard growls coming from the left and right side, which meant that Dimitri had more Strigoi with him. We needed to know how many he had with him; I needed to get more information out of him which meant I had to see him again.

"Roza, you know what I want," Dimitri replied.

"SO WHAT ARE YOU TO CHICKEN SHIT SCARED TO ACUALLY FACE US OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO HIDE BEHIND YOUR PUSSY-WIPPED STRIGOI?" I yelled back, mentally cringing at what I said.

"Rose shut up," Alberta hissed and I shook my head.

"You should really listen to her Roza," I heard Dimitri half yell I knew he was pissed at me; but I was working more towards pissing off the Strigoi that were following him.

"If you're just going to stand there and talk then I thinks we should leave," I said, I saw Alberta and Guardian Lutz heads snap in my direction.

"Oh… You're not going anywhere," I heard him reply and this time he was closer, my head snapped to the right and there he was flanked by three Strigoi.

"God you're easy to bait Dimitri," I told him and his brow creased, and then he smiled and shook his head.

"Well done Roza, and here was I expected that you were actually mad at me," he said and I scoffed I couldn't help it.

"Shut up, so tell me something. How many are there with you?" I asked.

"My followers are with me, and then there are the few that do as I say," he replied.

"So how many?" I asked getting irritated.

"Why don't I just show you?" he chuckled. "Come out," he spoke and there was rustling and about fifteen Strigoi stepped out and stood by Dimiti, I spun round and I saw the ten Strigoi that were in front of us had come towards us and were just standing there waiting. All in all there were twenty-nine Strigoi including Dimitri, I looked to Alberta she had her Guardian mask up but you could tell she was nervous about there being so many Strigoi.

"What do you want?" I asked looking back at Dimitri.

"You know what I want Roza," Dimitri replied, but I refused to answer him.

"This is getting very boring," I sighed looking around.

"Then come with us and everything will be fine," Dimitri suggested and I scowled at him.

"Yeah, yeah maybe when I'm dead," I told him and he scowled.

"That could be arranged my Roza," he answered and I didn't like that, not because I would be dead, it's because he would awaken me into a monster, and it's not what I want to be.

"Rose don't taunt him," Alberta whispered to me even though they could hear every single word that we muttered.

"You really should listen to her my Roza," Dimitri spoke and I sighed it seemed like he liked to repeat himself.

"Whatever…" I dismissed and sighed this was slightly boring he was dragging this out between us, soon as I went to say something I had a idea, that maybe if we could wait this out long enough then maybe back-up guardians would have arrived and then we would have more chance of surviving this. "So…" I said and I saw Dimitri frown at me.

"What do you mean so?" Dimitri asked with a frown, I was surprised he hadn't worked out what I was doing; there was a crease in his forehead trying to work out what I was doing. A couple of seconds passed and I saw his eyebrows rise and shook his head. "Very nice Rose, trying to distract me until the other guardians has arrived, that was very naughty of you Roza," he chuckled, I felt like cussing him out and yelling at him but that would have been highly immature even for me.

"Al?" I whispered and I saw Alberta look towards me waiting for me to continue. "I'm bored." I saw her shake her head and I saw a small smile at the beginning of her lips, but I was distracted by a growl. Of course it was Dimitri; I fought to roll my eyes at him.

"Really Roza?" he chuckled darkly and I frowned at him, I didn't get the questioning.

I don't know if it was the guardians that were coming up the road or that it was the right time, but all of a sudden the Strigoi surrounding us started to move in closer, I got into a crouch and waited for them to attack me, but they seemed to go more for Alberta and Guardian Lutz, I was pushed out of the circle and then I was mad as hell. I staked the nearest Strigoi and he had his back turned to me, but I pushed the stake through I heard his dying screams but I blocked it out and moved on to the next Strigoi who was blocking me for the two other fighting guardians. I was hit in the side and I growled. I spun round and hit the offending arm with my leg, and I ready for the next attack on me; I was fighting to get to the middle to help Alberta and Guardian Lutz. I was getting annoyed only a small amount of the Strigoi were actually paying me any attention, I finally got to the middle of the fighting, and I saw that Alberta was okay, she had small amount of scraps on her arms, but she was fine otherwise, Guardian Lutz was fine as well, he was about the same as Alberta. A couple of Strigoi saw me in the middle and they stopped and backed up, I scowled at them and stayed by Alberta.

A few more backed up and I saw that the Strigoi that were previously attacking Alberta and Gaurdian Lutz had stopped as well; we were in a circle with our backs to one another. I looked around and I saw that we had taken a few of the Strigoi army out, there was about fifteen left, well sixteen including Dimitri, we had taken out thirteen of his pathetic army.

"Roza, you gonna come with us now?" Dimtri practically cooed, my gaze flickered over to him, and he knew what the answer was before I even answered. "Shame really," he sighed and nodded once again, and the Strigoi moved in on me causing Alberta and Guardian Lutz to be pushed out of the circle. We I was fighting about six when once of the Strigoi got hold me pulled me to his chest while a few other grabbed hold my arms to stop me hitting them with my stake, one twisted my wrist until I had to drop my stake. I saw Alberta and Guardian Lutz trying to get to me but I knew they couldn't.

"RUN!" I screamed at them. "RUN GOD DAMMNIT!" I screamed again. "AL, RUN. PLEASE RUN AND DON'T COME BACK!" I continued; I knew I wasn't going to be breathing, probably soon as this was over. I stared at Alberta trying to see her face, a Strigoi moved his head, and I saw Alberta's face. It was slightly red, her checks were wet, and she knew what was going to happen as well as I do. "Alberta, PLEASE, GO!" I begged as her face lifted and caught my eyes. Her eyes were glistening with tears, I could tell that she didn't want to leave me; she didn't want to leave the only person she thought as a daughter.

Alberta nodded slightly, and called out to gaurdian Lutz who was still fighting to get through to me, he looked to me with question in his eyes, I nodded at him; he nodded with sad eyes he knew what was going to happen to me.

The fighting had ceased and the Strigoi had let up in the others, and walked to stand either side of me, I knew who was holding me, I could tell by the person's smell; it was Dimitri's scent. I heard the cars as did Alberta and Dimitri, about three-hundred metres away from us there was about three black SUV's driving up, quickly.

I turned my head, and looked into Dimitri's red eyes which were staring directly back at me.

"Let them go without any trouble Dimitri, please?" I begged him, I didn't want to see any harm come to Alberta or even Guardian Lutz, even if I didn't know him at all. Dimitri didn't reply just stared at me, and shook his head in a 'no,' and I felt my eyes water. "Please, if you mean that you love me like you say you do, please let them go without any trouble. Please I'm begging you Dimitri," I begged him and I saw in his eyes a little bit hope. "Please Dimitri," I begged, and saw him nod.

"Let them go, no one is to touch them," he said and I could see a few of the Strigoi cast looks at him, telling me this was not the plan. "NO ONE IS TO TOUCH THEM!" Dimitri shouted and I saw all the Strigoi that I could see nod, quickly.

I looked to Alberta and I saw her face twist in confusion.

"Alberta, go and take care," I told her and I saw her nod, but she didn't know what to reply to me, she couldn't exactly say 'goodbye Rose, and try and not kill any Moroi or dhampir's,' could she? I gave a small smile at her and I saw her nod again and she took a few steps away. The SUV's had stopped and I saw guardian's get out, there was about ten more Guardian's that had arrived, I didn't want anyone to die. I looked at Dimitri who watching the guardians carefully, he looked down at me and nodded and smiled he didn't show his fangs and he bent his head down to my neck and gave me small kiss on my neck and I knew he was going to do this in front of everyone, it showed everyone what was going to happen.

"It's okay Roza," he whispered and then he sank his fangs into my neck, I screamed and I wanted to move away I could feel my blood being pouring out of my neck and into his mouth, I tried to move away again but it was useless at this point; so when one of Dimitri's arm was moved away from my body I knew what was going to happen next, I felt him pull away from my neck and I heard a small tearing next to my neck. I felt his arm moved higher up and his wrist move towards my mouth, I couldn't do anything when his wrist nudged my mouth open because I was trying to breath in more air and he took the opportunity to put his wrist in my mouth. I coughed when the blood was in my mouth but I couldn't do anything but swallow the blood from Dimitri, as I gained more of Dimitri's blood it felt like I was losing consciousness, black dots were forming in front of my eyes, I could hardly see Alberta anymore, or any other of the guardians.

Just before I lost consciousness I heard a male's voice.

"Welcome my Roza."

**_So what do you think?_**

**_Vickie-Louise_**


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